Collection of funny, scary stoned stories

.1.Stoned number one

We used to go down to an abandoned train station to smoke in my home town. It was so isolated and huge, which is why it made for the perfect place to go and smoke with friends, skateboard and just generally hang out.

So my friend and I were sitting on the edge of the platform smoking a joint and chatting away at about 1am. It was so silent and peaceful. No wind blowing, no noise at all. It was a serene moment.

While we're blazing, we see a white owl come and land on the platform. My friend and I freak the fuck out. An OWL?! A WHITE OWL?! HERE?! (This is on the East Coast of South Africa, we don't see many owls, if any). Fuuuuuuck, we were so taken back by this owl. It blew our minds that this majestic creature had chosen to grace us with it's presence. It truly must have been our spirit animal reaching out to us in a moment of enlightenment.

So my friend pulls out his disposable camera and snaps a shot. We high five. We hug. We smoke another joint in celebration. Minds are blown all over the fucking train station.

A few weeks later and we've told everyone about our experience. It was so "out of body", man. Such a spiritual experience that cannot be expressed in mere words.

Anyway, my friend got his pictures developed and it was a seagull.

But it was a fucking SWEET seagull, though.

2.Stoned number two

I got baked one night out on the beach, as I did many nights.

My good friend and i walked down the beach sharing a decent sized blunt. We finished the whole thing and decided to keep walking down the beach. As we walk, we notice a couple of strays laying in the dunes, about 50 yards away from the water. We were walking close to the water, but decided to stop. The dogs were about 30 yards away from us. We were high and it was dark, so we couldn't make out what the race was, but we knew it was 2 dogs.

We stood there, analysing the situation. Trying to see what we could do, we looked at the dogs, then debated on the options we had. We debated for about 10 minutes. The dogs were immobile, they could have been sleeping, but we had to do something.

All of a sudden, the choice was clear, we were gonna bring them home, and help them reunite with their masters, or keep them if they're not actually missing, but just strays. We started walking slowly towards them, trying not to startle them, make them run off. We try and make them come towards us, but without success.

By that time we're about 15 feet from them. We still weren't sure what breed they were, but we keep patting our thighs and saying come here boy, come on boy, whistlewhistlewhistle, come here" .. we did this for about 20 seconds, until one of the dog said "what the fuck are you doing!?" ..We panicked and ran off.

We went our way, wondering how we could have had the same trip.

TL;DR My friend and I met a talking dog, on the beach.

3.Stoned number three

This is kind of the other side of the story. One morning I was getting picked up by my uncle for a ride to the airport at like 5:45. I was very tired, so i just hobbled into the first car I saw on the street, which happened to be the same color and basic shape as my uncle's. I get in the passenger seat, and as my brain starts to articulate the oddly powerful smell of some potent weed, I look over and see some dude staring at me in disbelief, he was not my uncle. It was pretty funny, he was obviously freaked out and super high. I just got out without saying a word and walked back into the building I was in.

4.Stoned number four

Mine would be the first time. I was open to the idea of weed but never felt a reason to try it. I got hit with one of my migraines. My migraines are really bad, they basically cause stroke like symptoms. These symptoms include numbness and muscle weakness on the right side of my face, arm, and hand, impaired speech (slurred speech and heavy tongue), immense pain, and nausea. I unfortunately did not have any of my medication I take for the migraine so I had to suffer through it.

So one of my roommates came in to check on me, after I scared the crap out of him and reassured him I wasn't having a stroke and to not call 911, he suggested I try to smoke. He grabbed a bong and pulled the smoke into the chamber for me to make it easier and to try and prevent me from hurting my head more by coughing. I was able to take 2 or 3 decent sized hits.

Within a minute or two I was able to open my right eye due to gaining my muscle strength back. After a few more minutes my speech was pretty much back to normal. I think the pain either went away or I was too high to notice it at this point. I got slightly emotional at this point because my normal medicine takes 30 minutes to an hour to really feel like its working, even then it doesn't work all the time. This took under 10 minutes for it to completely go away.

My favorite part of the night was when we went out to his car to listen to music (his car had a much better sound than the computer speakers). First song that he chose was Strobe by DeadMau5. I could feel every hair on my body vibrating to the sounds of the music. It felt so energetic yet tranquil at the same time. Living in the middle of nowhere we were able to look at the stars through the sun roof. It was just awe inspiring to be able to see stuff that is so far away.

That night was fantastic and relaxing.

5.Stoned number five

It was New Years Eve, and my boyfriend and I were staying with my brother in a town that we were unfamiliar with. We got pretty stoned and then my brother dropped us off at Izzy's buffet on his way out to a party. He wasn't going to be back home that night, so he wouldn't be able to pick us back up, we were going to have to walk across town to get back home. Before he dropped us off, he gave us instructions on how to get back, but we were too high to remember anything he was saying. We just nod our heads and pretend like we know what he was saying.

So we go in, thoroughly enjoy the all-you-can-eat food, and then brace ourselves for the walk home. It was up in Oregon, so it was freezing outside, and everything was covered in snow. We really had a lot of fun walking around, being lovey-dovey, and playing with the snow, but we had no clue where we were or which way to go. We somehow ended up back home after stopping at the grocery store to buy snacks, and then smoked some more and watched the ball drop. It was a fantastic, super fun evening.

tl;dr My boyfriend and I got lost in the snow.